


Little Miss Perfect

by orphan_account



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: F/F, Little Miss Perfect (Taylor Louderman), Songfic, This Is Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 03:49:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21206909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A songfic based off of "Little Miss Perfect" by Taylor Louderman and Write Out Loud





	Little Miss Perfect

_Straight hair, straight A’s, straight forward._

Katherine sighed, straightening her hair as she always did before school. Her hair naturally was curly, a large mass of rings on her head. But she had a reputation to uphold, a mold to fit into. Katherine smiled, looking in the mirror at her newly straight hair.

She checked her grades quickly, quickly going to check them online. It was a normal routine for her, she had to keep on top of her grades. If she didn’t, she could fall. Katherine can’t risk falling. Finally seeing the grades all A’s appeared, just as she’d hoped. Just as she’d expected. A small sigh of content fell out of her mouth, she was popular and smart, it’s a great life she’s living. Everything’s okay, right? Wrong.

_Straight past, I don’t cut corners. I make a point to be on time. Head of the student council!_

Katherine’s past school-wise was well known to almost everyone. She started from a quirky elementary school girl to a beautiful, happy popular girl. A girl who gets along with anyone, but deflects any flirting and compliments from the guys trying to pick her up.

She always had to be on time, that was her thing. She was perfect. She smiled at every teacher, being there at least five minutes before class and discussing things with the teachers. The student council was another place she would go to and allow her leadership come out. Leading the student council was fun, and it made her ever so happy to know she had something that she could control.

_I don’t blackout at parties, I jam to Paul McCartney._

Parties were always something that the whole weekend was filled with for the auburn haired girl. There was barely any moment to breathe anymore, seeing as at least one party was always on the schedule. But, the moments that she could just sit down and breathe, it only lasted for a very short amount of time. After a few minutes of sitting and trying to relax, there’d be a phone buzz or a call from one of her parents.

_If you ask me how I’m doing, I’ll say… well…_

Katherine had put up that fake persona of happiness all the time. Katherine hadn’t really been that happy all the time, Katherine was putting up a façade. She’s a pretty popular girl, who has sculpted herself to perfection. She can’t let go of that now, she can’t let people know how much she’s actually hurting. Nobody can know her stupid insecurities that are hidden deep down inside of her. Instead of telling her true feelings to anybody, she’d just flash a smile. Fake happiness coating her voice anytime she answered ‘fine.’

_I was adopted when I was two. My parents spoiled me rotten, often._

Katherine had two mothers. Her father, Joseph, died when she was only one. Her mother had died when she gave birth to Katherine. Kath spent the first two years of her life in an adoption center, and when her mothers adopted her, Katherine got used to the lesbian relationship. Growing up knowing it was okay, nothing was wrong. She got anything she wanted, anything she asked for. It was to a point Kath felt bad for doing that to her mothers.

_Often I ask myself, “What did I do?” To get as far as I’ve gotten._

Katherine didn’t know what she did to do this. She felt terrible of herself, for putting her moms through all of that. Katherine wanted to be different, she didn’t want to be this mess that she was. The spoiled, bratty, messy mess she was. But, of course, she hid it. Every single time. She acted like nothing was wrong. She acted like everything could and would be okay. Her friends didn’t question her, her friends let her be. She was grateful for that, it was selfish, but it needed to be hidden. It was for her reputation, her stance.

_A pretty girl walks by my locker, my heart gives a flutter, but I don’t dare utter a word!_

Katherine was standing by her locker, just getting things out of it as normal. It was the start of a new day, Katherine needed to be there early as always. The moment she turned, there she was. With a bright smile and kissable lips and long curls… As she walked by Kath’s locker, Katherine felt her face go hot. Her heart went fluttering, just the slightest bit, and she mentally scolded herself. She’s a normal girl. A normal, pretty, popular, straight girl. I mean, being gay is normal, Katherine thought, but not to everyone else. Nobody would like her if she admitted that the moment a pretty girl walked by, her heart rate would speed up drastically, until her face was as red hot as possible.

_Cause that would be absurd behavior for “Little Miss Perfect”!_

Katherine was with her friends, she thought of telling them. She thought of telling them that she was gay, that she felt like she could love and hold any nice girl who’d be willing to love her back. But, she just couldn’t. Katherine fell under her friends’ gazes, feeling as though they’d hurt her. Kill her social status. Spread rumors that she’d kiss and date any pretty girl that she could find. That she’d hurt any girl just for a girlfriend. Being a lesbian would be absurd behavior for her, “Little Miss Perfect.” She sighed, just shaking it off. Her friends continued talks of their boyfriends or cute boys. Katherine just sat there, forcing smiles so her friends thought she was okay. On the inside, though, she just wasn’t.

_Na-na-na-na-na-na-na no, you can’t risk falling off your throne. La-la-la-la-la-la-la love is something you don’t even know_

Katherine can’t risk losing her status now. Everyone knows her, everyone is at least tolerant of her, she isn’t hurt. Katherine doesn’t even know what love looks or feels like. A flutter of her heart is way different than love. Katherine would never know that. She had to stay in hiding, she can’t show her love. She can’t fall off of her throne. She’s Katherine Plumber, head of student council.

_Straight hair, straight A’s, straight forward, straight girl!_

It’s another day. Katherine once again quickly straightened her hair, keeping the mess of curls hidden from sight. She jumped online quickly and checked her grades. Still all A’s, nothing less to expect from her. Katherine quickly looked at herself in the mirror. She looked normal, she was normal. If she said she was gay, that’d all go away. She muttered to herself, she’s a straight girl. She likes boys, that’s it. She’s straight, like all her friends.

_“Little Miss Perfect” that’s me!_

With a single step into the school, her friends ran up to her with big smiles. A few of them arm and arm with some tall boy, and a few of them gushing to Kath. Kath smiled, she can’t slip up and be rude, she has to be perfect. She encourages her crushing friends, and greeting the boyfriends of her other ones. Just smile, Katherine thought, keep the perfect persona you’ve shown them. You’re not Katherine Plumber, lesbian outcast. You’re Katherine Plumber, straight popular girl.

_One night my friend stayed over. We laughed, and drank and ordered._

Sarah Jacobs was sort of an outcast. A really pretty outcast at that. But, she was one of Katherine’s friends. One night, Sarah came to plan with Kath so they could get rid of a stalker Sarah had. They ended up having a good time, laughing over the stupidest of things. It was probably because of the few drinks they’d had; Katherine was home alone after all. Sarah thought it’d be fun, Katherine agreed, her friend suggested it, she felt obliged. She usually didn’t drink, but if Sarah wanted to.

_Something about her drew me in. What? It’s totally platonic!_

Katherine realized she couldn’t stop smiling when Sarah talked or did anything. Something about how Sarah talked and made big hand motions and melted with fondness made Katherine’s heart pound just the slightest bit faster. Katherine shook herself a no, it’s not a crush. This is all platonic, right? Oh, no, Katherine, you have a crush. And her intoxicated mind didn’t mind.

_That night was so exciting. Her smirks were so enticing. Hours speed by like seconds. Then what happens is iconic!_

Anytime that a small smirk spread across Sarah’s face, Kath felt a small pink blush spread onto her cheeks. Sarah Jacobs was such an attractive person, and that smirk made her all the more endearing. Katherine thought she’d never stop fawning secretly over her. The hours and days and months of crushing had gone by only a few seconds. Katherine’s heartbeat quickened as Sarah turned to her. “Truth or dare?” Katherine’s face all but brightened as she nodded, grabbing another drink that Sarah had brought up for them. They sat, starting to play the game. It was all very middle school; it was all very childish. But, Katherine couldn’t find herself to care at the moment.

_She takes a sip; I bite my lip. She tells a joke, I nearly choke._

Anytime Sarah Jacobs took a sip of any drink, Katherine’s eyes darted down to her lips. It wasn’t that noticeable, at least Katherine didn’t think so, but it still caused her to blush wildly. To try and start the urge of lunging forward to kiss her, she quickly went down to bite her lip. As much as she wanted to kiss Sarah forever until she was breathless, but alas, she just can’t.

_She braids my hair, I sit there, blacking out for the first time!_

As they’d continued the game, Sarah kneeled behind Katherine and started braiding her hair. It was in its natural form, curly and slightly frizzy. It didn’t stop Sarah though, not at all. Grabbing the curled strands quickly, she’d gently intertwine them, and Katherine’s breath would hitch, and she wouldn’t be able to say anything. Katherine’s chest was blooming with some warmth of some kind. It was as if her heart were a flower. With Sarah’s touch being the water and Sarah’s smile being the sunlight. With each smile and each touch, the flower in Kath’s heart only grew wider. Never would Kath think of saying this. But, right now, she wasn’t thinking straight.

_Next thing I know, I lose control. I finally kiss her, but, oh no._

Once Sarah and her were back, staying face to face, Katherine’s flower was finally at full bloom. She couldn’t help it anymore, not at all, she just had to do something so she could get her feelings out to Sarah. Sarah couldn’t ruin her reputation, she wouldn’t dare tell anybody that she’s gay, right? Impulsively, without a second thought, Katherine threw her arms around Sarah’s neck and kissed her. Sarah, to Katherine’s surprise, kissed her right back, putting her hands on Kath’s waist. Katherine’s heart was booming against her ribcage, threatening to break through her chest and fall out. Just the feeling of Sarah holding her by the waist, Sarah moving her lips against Katherine’s own, everything felt perfect. Until, Katherine’s eyes opened and went up to her window. The golden-brown gaze of her eyes opened up in fear, and her arms, still around Sarah’s neck, were trembling in fear and pure self-hatred.

I see a face in my window! And my mind starts to go!

Katherine saw a flash of a camera, shining through the window quickly. Hesitantly, Kath had to pull away from the other-worldly kiss. Katherine grabbed the flashlight, shining it towards the window to see the face… The face of some taller boy that was quickly recognizable as Morris Delancey. Morris had always wanted to get with Katherine, anytime she ran into him at school he’d get close to her face, and flirt with her, even try and brushed his lips against her own. It made her a whole new level of uncomfortable, but once again, no one will ever know that. Katherine felt a small tear go down her face, and she quickly jumped up and ran out of her own house. Leaving Sarah alone.

_Na-na-na-na-na-na-no! You can’t risk falling off your throne! La-la-la-la-la-la-love! Is something you don’t even know!_

Katherine just slumped onto a nearby bench, feeling small tears fall. Sobs racked through her body, she couldn’t help it. She thought she was ready, she thought she’d be ready to tell everyone, to kiss her crush and best friend and love her forever and ever. But, she just couldn’t. She really couldn’t. She can’t get off of her throne, her throne was where she was forever placed. Like a toy a broken toy that a child’s parent had glued together to be fixed and stay there forever. Katherine Plumber, popular straight girl. Being straight is fine, being straight is what you are. You aren’t gay, you aren’t gay, you aren’t gay… Oh, who are you kidding yourself, Katherine.

_Na-na-na-na-na-na-no! You can’t risk falling off your throne! La-la-la-la-la-la-love! You don’t even know._

Katherine continued to write her head mournful no’s. She just couldn’t… She couldn’t love anyone, she had to hide her true feelings. How she truly felt with her lesbian heart pumping as fast as ever after kissing Sarah. She had to conceal it, hope no one found out. But, who was she kidding, there was a picture of them kissing. Most certainly there’d be rumors, people would find out. She would be ruined, everything that she’d worked for. Katherine felt more tears slip down her face.

_Rewind, induce amnesia. Deny the truth it’s easier._

The next day, Katherine felt herself trying to avoid Sarah. Denying the truth anything went on. Especially when Morris approached her. “No, that’s not me, you’re mistaking me.” Kath had said, and it hurt her to say it, but she had done it.

_You’re just confused, believe her. When she says “There’s nothing there.”_

Katherine just stared at her phone as Sarah was texting. Bubbles upon bubbles appearing. All from the contact of Sarah. “There’s nothing there, Katherine.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “I won’t tell anyone at all, okay? Just don’t do that again.” A silent sob went through her body. “Katherine, answer me.” Kath just couldn’t as she shook violently. She wrapped herself up in a blanket, sobs silently wracking through her body.

_It’s never worth it… When you’re “Little Miss Perfect.”_

Katherine didn’t want to tell anyone. It just wasn’t worth it to tell anyone. She had to be here and stay like she was. She was the perfect one. Her moms loved her, her moms always would, she knew that. But, Katherine just couldn’t love herself like this. She thought that the Kath she knew would disappear if she was herself. If she let herself be a lesbian girl, she’d be the talk of the town. She’d be mocked, everything would be ruined. It’s not worth it. It’d never be worth it.

Not when she’s Little Miss Perfect.


End file.
